This tour took place on 24th April 2004, accompanied by my Shropshire associate, and, as it turned out, South-East London Gandalf, Alex.
It was a sunny day, so in an effort to avoid sitting indoors playing backgammon against random geeks on the interweb, we decided to go and watch Bromley play football. They have a friendly bar adjoining the ground, and the sport is of the pleasantly incomptent non-league variety. I advise bringing your own pastries (danish), and buying the tea early before it has brewed to enamel-stripping levels.
But I wasn't satisfied. I wanted to squeeze a liitle more out of the day, so I scanned the directory for anything Young's near Bromley. Alex assured me the that Orpington was within reach, so in the beginning, the Ram Ba Ba was the extent of our ambitions. It ended up a little more extensive than that. The tour was completed on a one-day Bus pass, with a single bus ride between each pub. We like to live on the edge.
Pint of Special. Alex also had Special.
An awful Orpington bar which happens to serve some Young's. They have a large screen, and a DJ thing going on. As we left, we had no difficulty in identifying Kent Youths in the vicinity who were destined for the 'Ba' - or if they weren't, they should've been.
On the plus side, Alex had a look at the directory and, armed with his superior local knowledge, identified a string of future pubs for the evening. And so we left for Chislehurst.
Ram 'n' Spec, same for Alex.
I wasn't expecting Chislehurst to be like something out of Midsomer Murders, but it is. I expect Grand Prix drivers live there, or at least drive through on their way to picnics.
The Bull's Head is a hotel as well as a pub, and probably somewhere that people come for Sunday lunch, in tucked-in shirts. Some of the tables were of the peculiar wobbly beaten copper variety, which should be banned, but overall, a fairly standard family-type pub.
Pint of 'St George', I think. Some sort of St George's day special brew, anyway. Same for Alex.
Now this is a real challenge to find. It's hidden in the horrid warren part of South-East London, where there's nothing except nondescript suburban houses for lots of miles, all of which are square. The pub is nice though. It has a beer-yard where parents can bring, and get increasingly irritated with their kids, and an indoors for everyone else to hide in. We had some chips, which were nice. I instructed Alex to get all the condiments in sachets that you can find, which is something you should never tell Alex, because he has no shame in these matters, but it did mean that there was lots of mayonnaise and mustard and tartare sauce, and we could make the chips taste like lots of other things, like hot-dogs or scampi.
Several pints, mostly Special.
Hidden at the bottom of a shopping centre, probably the one that has a large figure of a cat over the entrance. Slightly intimidating, but this is just because it's in Catford in a shopping centre. It is not at all scary once you're inside. I think I remember it having those table designed for standing at, and generally feels a bit like a going out on a Friday night pub, but not in a bad way.
There was a large table of men having a do (rugby team?), and they had a buffet. Later in the evening, after several visits to the jukebox, Alex raided the buffet. I was glad that he did, but not prepared to do it myself. Mostly cheese and onion sandwiches.